My Ordinary Life?

I am beginning to wonder if there is more to life than being a short order cook, making peanut butter sandwiches with the crusts cut-off on demand? And I wonder if I will ever see the bottom of the laundry basket? And if there is a meal, other than pizza, that my entire family will eat? I am still unwinding from not having a moment to myself yesterday, which seems to have left me completely unproductive. I can't seem to remove myself from my motherhood world into my alter-ego fantasy world. Which believe me, is much more exciting than slapping two white, high fructose corn-syrup free pieces of bread together with peanut butter and looking through grocery store flyer's trying to find the best deal on laundry detergent. Most days I look forward to meeting with my alter-ego to find at least "imaginary enjoyment" in my life, but today I seem to be stranded in reality, a.k.a. "writer's block." At this point, I may as well stick to where I will be most productive: in the laundry room.

School Daze

I am still trying to figure out what I am doing? There is a strange silence in my house. My head is foggy with memories of "me time" as I am strangely aware that I survived summer with my four children and now three of my children are back in school. This "time" I suddenly have seems overwhelming. Do I start training for my next marathon or do I finish my novel?

Important Note: My computer of a year and a half died this summer because it had a bad motherboard and of course I did not buy the extended warranty...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! I was pretty depressed at first, but then I reminded myself "my motherboard" wasn't bad and I could write my book "Mark Twain Style" if that was my only option, aside from begging my twelve-year-old to borrow her laptop. This wasn't really something I wanted to do, because she got stingy about letting me use her laptop to check e-mail. In response to her stingy attitude about using her computer to check e-mail, I reminded her that I pay for the Internet which would no longer be available on her computer if I couldn't use it...yada,yada,yada! Well, now that she is back in school for seven hours a day, her laptop is free. Now if I can only find my way out of the fog!

I think I am stuck in the fog partially due to the fact the family schedule is so packed with activities, I am feeling brain overload (not to be confused with a "bad motherboard.") And then there is my husband, who keeps throwing out hints at how I should make on of those "artsy" calendars I usually make with every one's schedule on it, but to be honest with you, I am just trying to get through waking up at 5:45 a.m. and making three lunches on tea.

Another Important Note: I gave up coffee, in part to cut out my excessive spending at coffee establishments, but mainly to cut out my children's addiction to coffee house treats. Forget one coffee. Starbucks became Twentybucks with my brood of four and at Twentybucks a day.... you do the math- 365*20.... CRAZY! Now if only I started a savings account with that money.

As far as the "artsy" calendar my husband keeps telling me to make, I'll get to it when I am used to 5:45. Is that an oxymoron?

One Third and Final Note: If there is one thing my kids were good at this past summer (aside from fighting), that was sleeping in. 5:45 a.m. is coming way too quickly for me. I miss the days of rolling out of bed at 7:15 a.m. and sipping tea in silence waiting for my children to wake up between 8:30-10:00 a.m. Now I am stumbling out of bed, making tea, lunches, breakfast and getting out the door by 7:15. Yuck! But as I say that, I think I must be crazy, because once I have dropped my children off at school, I have what I lacked all summer: TIME. When will the reality finally hit me that after seventy-nine days of summer break, I can do what I want?

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

Seventy days and counting.... "Why can't we all just get along?" Seems to be the catch phrase I hear myself repeating to my four children, but it is mostly directed at my three older children or maybe more like my middle two(as my oldest daughter has had a booked social calendar and has missed out on the sibling malcontent.)

Here is a recap of one incident. My five year old almost imploded with anger as he tried to run his sister over with his Razor scooter, causing him to have a further meltdown when I pried his Razor out of his hot little hands. As a mother, I felt I had no other option than to hold his Razor hostage, but in his defense, I felt his frustration with his sister, as she and her friend had been blatantly ignoring him all afternoon. Every time my son tried to get their attention or speak to them, the girls would look at each other and say, "Do you hear anything.... No, I don't hear anything, do you?" My son begged them to talk to him and when they didn't he got so frustrated that he finally decided to crash into his sister with the said Razor. I am a firm believer in "actions have consequences." Hence I folded up his Razor scooter and placed it on top of the stroller I was pushing. And as my son screamed at me, calling me "Mean mom!" I calmly looked at all the kids and asked, "Why can't we all just get along?" Then my daughter looked at me and said, "Duh, he's a weirdo boy." I decided not to waste my energy with a response, but gave my daughter the look that meant she was in trouble and if she if kept talking.... well, she just looked away and whispered something to her friend, who I already knew would not be coming over to our house for the next week.

How am I going to supposed survive seventy more days of summer if this incessant fighting continues? So far, my one solution has been to exhaust them physically. I have done this by spending the day at the pool or the beach. The results are: the kids come home, take a shower, eat like a pack of starved wolves and sleep a good twelve to fifteen hours, making my summer hours of 8:00 am to 8:00 pm work. Hopefully this will work for the next seventy days....

75 Days and counting......

It has finally happened. The end of my vacation. School is closed. Teachers are busy celebrating their new found freedom and I am not sure what to do? I already did the math: 11+31+31+2=75 days until school starts again. I have 75 days to spend with my four children. I will try to look on the bright side, I can sleep in. In fact, today I slept until 8:00 a.m. Amazingly, my seven-year-old who could barely manage to get out of bed by 7:00 a.m. to leave the house for school at 7:25 a.m. woke up at 6:15 a.m. I kindly told her it was too early for breakfast. Then she pointed out the bright sun shining through the vertical blinds in my bedroom and I wondered what happened to the good old "Southern Californian June Gloom?" I then used this as an opportunity to establish my first summer law, that breakfast would not be served before 8:00 a.m., because of course I need every excuse to shorten the length of my 75 days of summer vacation with my children. My summer hours of operation will be between 8 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. Sounds fair to me. 12*75= 900 hours of mom on the job. I need the other 900 hours for myself. Am I being selfish? Maybe, but if business hours are from 9 to 5, then I am working four hours of overtime and I don't even get paid with the exception of a few "thank yous" and "your welcomes" (from my two-year-old son, who skips right over "thank you" to "your welcome.")

Just so you know, I am in for a long summer. My seven-year-old has already informed me that she is bored and she can't stand her life. She keeps whining, "Mom, what am I supposed to do? My friends are all busy and I am B-O-R-E-D." No not the dreaded word- B-O-R-E-D. What am I supposed to do? Start counting. Only 75 more days to go......

No Excuses

Lately, I feel like my kids own my time (with after school activities, homework, play dates, the list goes on...) Friends have been asking why have you stopped writing? Or why have you stopped running (noticing the return of my hips?) I try to make no excuses as my creed is: There is always time, as long as you make time. So, why am I not making time? I have no excuse, but this is what I tell myself: I need more sleep or I have to make the beds or vacuum or I need to get back to my job as a chauffeur. I need to have a mental meeting with myself ASAP and get myself back on track. Summer is coming and I need to wear a bathing suit not a "Moo Moo." As for my lack of blogging, its hard to write a New York Times Bestseller and a blog at the same time.

Support My Walk

I am doing something really important to help other people, and I am writing to ask for your help. On Saturday, May 10th, I am walking at Orange County AIDS Walk 2008. Click on the link below to view my personal AIDS Walk webpage and sponsor my participation. While visiting my webpage, don't forget to sign my online Guest Book as I would love to hear from you! http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?SID=1776469Any amount is truly appreciated and it is easy and secure to do... just follow the directions once you click on the link to my webpage.

Your tax-deductible donation will help prevent the spread of HIV and help over 8,000 people living with HIV/AIDS in Orange County. I hope that you will help me exceed my goals!If you can't give, but know someone who can, please pass this on to them! I would really appreciate it. If you would like to walk with me and raise money, let me know. I will be happy to show you how to sign up! When more people know about the Walk, even more can be accomplished in the fight against HIV/AIDS. We hope you will join us!

Thanks!

Liza Marchant

Cinco de Mayo: Fun Four All

One of the greatest joys of motherhood is watching children have fun, especially when they are my own. Last weekend, my husband, children and I went to the Cinco De Mayo festival in Max Berg Park in San Clemente. I had signed my husband up (or myself, depending on if my husband wanted to watch our children or make tacos) to help make Carnitas/Tacos at our church's booth. Prior to leaving for the event, my seven-year-old daughter whined, "The Cinco De Mayo festival is STUPID (a word I absolutely detest when coming from my children). My friend who went last year told me it was b-o-r-i-n-g (another word I detest)!" Did she really think she needed to spell it out for me? Honestly, I had no idea if the festival would be b-o-r-i-n-g or not, but deep down I was hoping that it would be fun, that by the end of the day my children would be thanking me instead of reminding me how I had once again failed to provide them with an action-packed, fun-filled day. I am sure somewhere in the motherhood manual, it states clearly that mothers are responsible for providing their children with fun-filled entertainment, ALL THE TIME!

My seven-year-old cried and complained the entire drive (six miles) from our house to our church parking lot across the street from Max Berg Park. My husband and I tried our hardest to ignore her, but in a moment of weakness, I did threaten to not give her the ten dollars I was planning on giving her, knowing full well that not giving her the money would really only punish me, because what could have been a fun day would not be fun, because she would not have any money to play the games, which would therefore make her day b-o-r-i-n-g!

We loaded up my two-year-old's stroller with wipes, water bottles, sunscreen and other necessities and then made our way over to the park. It was only 10:30 ( a half-an-hour before the start of the festival) so we did what we could do, walk around the park checking the booths out. The whole time my seven-year-old complained everything looked "stupid." I didn't even indulge her by responding, because I knew that would have only fueled her complaining. Sometimes I use motherhood wisdom to conquer a problem. I took great delight in pointing out all of the activities my five-year-old could do, and suddenly this tactic, silenced my seven-year-old. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her looking my way, unsure what to say, and after a few minutes, she played into my hand, stating she could do the same activities her brother could do, once she had "her tickets."

After our "twice" around the park, we made our way to the ticket booth. The deal or should I say, steal of the day was 50 tickets for $20 (most games being one ticket). I was surprised by some of the prizes my children were winning, a Thomas the Tank train set and a Bratz board game. After further investigation, I found some of the booths were run by family assistance programs. I started to feel guilty that my children were winning prizes from family assistance programs. Didn't we have an abundance of unused toys at home, toys that had been deemed- b-o-r-i-n-g, more times than I could count? But just as I questioning whether I should allow my children to keep winning these better than average prizes with their tickets, I saw something that made me stop for a moment. I saw the twinkle in their eyes, the excitement as they played the games and were handed these great prizes. Then I noticed the grin on my two-year-old's face, sitting in his stroller, licking the lollipop or as he calls it "Boppop" his older sister won for him. I took a deep breath and enjoyed the moment. The moment the complaints had dissipated and my children were having fun. They were laughing and running from booth to booth, from the jump house to the climbing wall (which was free and invaluable throughout the entire day) and winning prize after prize. There was no more pressure on me to please to provide entertainment, they were having fun on their own!

After making taking the children around to the games, my husband and I set up camp at our church booth and while he cooked tacos, I sat under the tent with friends and my two-year-old who played with a "Jesus Saves Balloon" (a far cry from my own religious faith, the Episcopal Church), but if the balloon message works for others, more power to them.

My kids continued to run around with their friends and only returned to drop off prizes, eat food and show-off their body tattoos from the free face painting booth. My seven-year-old was grinning from ear to ear as she showed me her peace sign. When I asked if she was having fun, which my husband was sure she would deny if asked, she just shook her head "yes" laughing as she ran off for snow cones and another round of games. As I watched her run off, I felt completely satisfied as a mother seeing the joy that all four of my children were feeling. Happy Cinco de Mayo!