LOST on the couch....

No one needs to question what I will be doing for 991 minutes this weekend. I will be working on my latest writing assignment. I will be LOST on the couch!

A Mother Lode of Excitment: LOST, found on my doorstep!

I just left my house for fifteen minutes to pick up my five year old from Montessori school. When we arrived back at home, the UPS package was on my doorstep. My seven year old picked it up and read aloud, "Liza Marchant, motheringheights.net..." And she did not need to say anymore, because I knew the contents of the package. Like a child I ripped the oversized-envelope out of her hands and said, "Mine." Okay, maybe I said, "That's mine, thank you," as I ripped it from her hands, but I certainly grabbed it with the force of "Mine!"

I couldn't open the door quickly enough to tear open the package. I dropped my purse and my keys as I ripped at the envelope. It was not opening so I had to go for the kitchen scissors. Man, those UPS bubble wrap envelopes are tightly sealed. As soon as I was done cutting into my package, I gently removed the box from inside. My sad, true reality: This was the most exciting moment of motherhood as of late, aside from my recent e-mail from singer/song writer Ben Taylor telling me he was interested in assisting me with a story.

But today, here was this package on my doorstep, in my hands, my first official assignment as a movie reviewer for Mothering Heights. The only thing that could make this assignment better, would be knowing that I would be able to keep the package's contents: The third season of LOST. Then this day would be like Christmas and my birthday all in one day! Not only did I have a present, I had an official writing assignment.

After I pulled the seven disc set out the package, I immediately checked the envelope for some return label, but the package was empty. Did this mean what I thought it meant? Did this mean this set, this pre-release copy of Season Three of LOST would be mine? I held the box close to my face, sniffing its newness. Oh, the smell of fresh compact discs and plastic. I carefully tore off the plastic wrapping around the box. I carefully looked at the contents. 991 minutes of LOST episodes and LOST extras. All mine! Mine! Mine! Or does it belong to Mothering Heights?

Good question? I will hope, hope, hope! As I review, review, review!

The Opening of "Almost Maine" at The Orange Curtain Theater

If you are looking for an evening out and a night at the theater, my husband, Sean, is in "Almost Maine" opening at the Orange Curtain Theater Company in San Juan Capistano this weekend which is located at the El Camino Real Theater!

Fridays, Nov 30, Dec 7 and 14 – 8:00 p.m.

Saturdays, Dec 1, 8 and 15 – 8:00 p.m.

Sundays, Dec 2, 9, and 16 – 3:00 p.m.

Ticket Price: $18 ($15 for seniors and students with ID)

Located at 31776 El Camino Real, in the heart of historic San Juan Capistrano, THE ORANGE CURTAIN THEATRE is an intimate, 49-seat black box theatre.

PHONE: 949-412-3252
FAX: 949-487-0106

Conversations in the Car: Even Santa's Not Buying This One!

I am amazed by how awake my middle school daughter is at 7:15 a.m. without the assistance of caffeine. Okay, maybe I can understand somewhat, because I am generally a morning person, but lately I have been tired. So the fact that my middle schooler is getting in what sounds like about 500 wpm (words per minute) as she is going on and on about how her magazine Cosmo, Girl! (Wait, didn't I ban that magazine from our house?) was making her a better person. Most of what she was saying was being lost between too tired and haven't had my coffee yet.

What I did manage to hear was that she was the "Queen of Green!" "Mom, Cosmo, Girl! is making sure I am environmentally conscious. I took the quiz on "How Green Are You Really?" and I answered all of the questions correctly. Can you answer all of these questions, mom? Do you know if it is better to use paper or plastic bags? Or whether "Mother Earth" prefers aluminum or plastic bottles? I mean really you should be glad I am reading this stuff. I am becoming more aware of the world. And soon, I will be getting two full years of Cosmo, Girl! and a complimentary gift bag."

I am still considering what kind of latte I want this morning. A holiday latte or just a plain latte. My brain is telling me that I should go with the non-sugary option and then I process what sounded like a two year subscription to Cosmo, Girl! "Wait!" I quickly glance over at my daughter as she is flipping through her magazine. "Did you say something about a two year subscription to Cosmo, Girl!?"

"Relax, mom. I am asking Santa. I have the subscription card and all! Now he...." and my daughter gives me that knowing wink, "Santa, just needs to mail it in. I am sure that Santa will be thrilled to learn that I am trying to be environmentally conscious. That Cosmo, Girl! is more than just a teen fashion magazine, but a magazine that cares about the world. I mean, this magazine even shows me how to make recycled Christmas gifts. Santa should be thrilled by that. I can take an old t-shirt and add a bow to it and now I have a trendy gift to give a friend or how about taking old shoes and tie-dying them."

All I can ask is, "Is tie-dye back in fashion?"

"Mom, that's not the point. This magazine has all kinds of lessons for me. As well as to be practical when asking for Christmas gifts. You know how I get carried away with asking for expensive gifts. This magazine has lists of great gifts for under twenty dollars. Isn't that great mom? Perfect for asking all of our relatives. Like look at this cool clock or there is this recycled watch and this personal massager..."

She keeps listing items and I am still trying to keep up as I am thinking clock, and I can't look at the magazine so I say it out loud, "I am driving Emily! I can't look at your gifts now .... the clock, the watch..." and then it registers. Did you say personal massager?"

"Yeah, I really need one of those. Everyone uses them mom."

Everyone uses them. If only she knew. Alarmed I ask, "Why do you need a personal massager?"

I felt a "Duh, mom" coming on, as my question did sound stupid. "Obviously to massage myself. I mean, I can use it on my neck when I am doing homework. You don't know how stressful homework can be in middle school? I am all tense in my neck." And all I can think is thank you Cosmo, Girl! for your under twenty dollar gift suggestions and my eleven year old wanting her own personal massager. And just as my head is spinning from these thoughts, we arrive at her school. Finally, I say a quick, "Thank God!" Because frankly, this is way too much to process B.C. (before caffeine.)

As she gets out of the car and shuts the door, I notice the magazine on her seat. The page is open to "Things You Can Do Now: You've changed your light bulbs and now you want to do more. But what? Read on!" and "How Green are you Really? Take your eco-aptitude test here!" And just as I am thinking how this magazine might not be so bad, I turn the page to "Are you too hard to Get? Are you too guarded with guys?" and I shake my head, because I know Santa is not buying this one!

In the Hands of a Toddler: The Tragic Ending of a Pop-Up Book

I really like to take advantage of the time when my toddler is content playing with his toys. Today I was amazed by how entertained he seemed in "his" corner of the living room while I was in the kitchen preparing dinner, Crock Pot meatloaf and potatoes and cranberry white chocolate blondies for dessert. I could hear him laughing and having what sounded like a grand old time. He was having so much fun, I even took the time to load the dishwasher and clean the kitchen. Just as I was finishing up I heard him exclaim with surprise, "Oh, no. Oh, no." Since he wasn't crying I finished wiping the counter. Then I heard what sounded like paper being ripped, and another "Oh, no." At this point I decided to see what he was doing. As I came out of the kitchen, there was my toddler holding what used to be a pop-up book. He looked up at me and said, "Oh, no." And all I could do was repeat his words, "Oh, no." What a tragic ending for a pop-up book, to be in the hands of a toddler. The sacrifice of a pop-up book that allowed me the time to get ahead.

A Blog Happy Birthday to My Mom!

I love you mom! Thanks for being a great mom and I hope all of your birthday wishes come true!

Mother Turned Monday Morning Sports Writer

I just need to say "Phew!" Last night was a close call for the New England Patriots, but they have managed to improve their record to 11-0 with a well-fought 31-28 victory over the Philadelphia Eagles. I will have to admit, I enjoyed watching a competitive game after the previous week's blowout of 56-10 against the Buffalo Bills. As a football fan, I love to see my favorite team win, but sometimes when the game is so lopsided it takes the fun out of being a fan. Isn't part of the fun watching a team come from behind to win a game?

In fact, last night's game against the Philadelphia Eagles reminded me of the "underdog" New England Patriots team of years past. The team that beat all the odds to win without having the superstar receivers like Randy Moss, Wes Welker and Donte Stallworth. Don't get me wrong, I love that Patriots finally have some top receivers to make Tom Brady's job as quarterback easier. Now that he has those receivers, he is finally able to prove that he is a "Pro-Bowl Caliber Quarterback" and (what I have been saying all these years) that he is one of the best quarterbacks to have ever played the game.

At this point, I would like to say "thank you" and "game well played" to the Philadelphia Eagles for challenging the New England Patriots. There were definitely moments during the game, as the score flip-flopped between the Patriots and the Eagles, where I questioned if this was going to be the surprise upset of the season. Up until last night, the Eagles had been having a marginal season (partially due to injury) at best, but last night the Eagles played like a "playoff contender team" against the unbeaten Patriots, who aside from the game against the Indianapolis Colts (24-20) had won by 17 points or more including the 48-27 victory over the 10-1 Dallas Cowboys. This tells me that when the Eagles want to play ball they can play!

So, for now, I will take a deep breath and focus on my week's projects, while the Patriots focus on their strategy to beat the Baltimore Ravens next Monday in Baltimore, because at this point, I know even the teams with marginal records don't always play marginal ball when facing the best team in the NFL, the New England Patriots!

Seeking Adventure Beyond Motherhood Boundaries

I am having some serious motivational issues. My printer is out of ink, so I am not writing. My treadmill is having belt issues, so I am not running. My life has come to what seems like a screeching halt. Nothing is happening. I am being completely unproductive as if I am waiting for something to happen. Obviously the ink won't restore itself and the belt can't readjust itself, so what am I to do?

Its Saturday, soccer season is over, my husband is at his play rehearsal kissing other women and I am sitting at home with four children, three of whom are complaining about having nothing to do and I am doing nothing. I need an adventure beyond motherhood, but my problem is adventure is not going to come knocking on my door or will it? What am I waiting for? Other than the turkey soup to finish cooking.

I need to think for awhile. Adventure. Adventure. Adventure. Hmmm......

An Esteem Boost from a True Friend and Fellow Writer

Here's my feel good note of the year!


Dear Liza,

I wanted to wish you and your family a happy and blessed Thanksgiving. I am thankful for many things this year and one of them is You. I know it sounds corny, but your support has helped me become more confident in my writing and the creation of Mothering Heights and The Daily Slog. In turn, I have been able to work with a core group of wonderful women writers who have contributed to the site.My new column, Taking the Bonnet Call, is listed below in my new email format. (If it doesn't work right, please let me know.) May your day be as delicious as a slice of homemade pie with whipped cream!

Christine

Many Hands Make Light Work

Many hands make light work. In my home its more like two hands doing it all. Changes need to be made. I'm tired. I feel like a workhorse. I need a refresher course on how to have fun. Somehow endless loads of laundry, dishes and cooking meals have gotten in the way of my ability to have fun. Am I finally losing my sense of humor? Have I lost sight of my mission in life: Maintaining my sense of humor while raising four children, a husband and a tortoise (who by the way, is definitely neglected) while writing my New York Times Bestseller? I am not sure what has happened? Lately, I'm just feeling exhaustion.

After dinner as I was washing dishes, I found myself complaining to my husband about how serving leftovers wasn't much of a break from having to cook dinner, because even with no cooking, I still have the after dinner mess. Dishes still need to be washed. The table needs to be cleaned. And the carpet, that dang carpet, curse the person responsible for installing carpet in my dining room. Oh, how I despise picking food out of carpet. Now remind me why I should have a sense of humor? Is it possible to have a sense of humor about having carpet in my dining room and having to pick my toddler's food out of it after every meal?

Oh, this is awful. I must stop complaining now. This is a terrible way to live. I am supposed to be living my life with an attitude of gratitude. How can I turn this all around into gratitude? I live in a home with five other people, six total. Twelve hands. Two hands doing all the work is wrong. I need to focus on being grateful to many hands. My attitude of gratitude will need to come from being grateful for many hands. But in order to make this happen, I must take matters into my own hands. Starting tomorrow. Everyone will have jobs. Everyone will have jobs. Everyone will have jobs. I won't be so exhausted. I won't be so exhausted. I won't be so exhausted. I will have time for fun. I will have time for fun. I will have time for fun. I will have an attitude of gratitude because many hands make light work!

Post-Thanksgiving Math Question

Post Thanksgiving Math Question: How many miles will I have to run to burn off the 10,000 Thanksgiving calories I consumed?

Well, it was probably not that many calories, but I feel like I ate that many. Forget the pre-Thanksgiving Turkey Trot, I am going to have to run a post-Thanksgiving Marathon. I need to take a moment to reassess what I ate today. Please note: My husband, as a child, was forced to fast prior to his Thanksgiving dinner at his grandparents house, so my husband insists that we, meaning myself and him, not our children, live by the practice of fasting prior to Thanksgiving dinner.

So, here's the lowdown on what I ate after a pre-Thanksgiving Fast. Turkey. Stuffing. Gravy. Carrots. Green Beans. Sweet Potato. Mashed Potato. Mushrooms. Cranberry Sauce. Pumpkin Bread. Cheese. Crackers. Olives. Ice Cream. Blueberry Pie. My day's exercise consisted of hand, with the help of a fork, to mouth movements. I suppose I was on my feet most of the day cooking and washing dishes, but nothing to promote burning some serious calories. If I run 6/7 miles an hour and burn about 600 calories then I am going to have to run a long, long, long time!

Post Thanksgiving Math: 10,000/600= 16.67 hours of running

16.67*6mph= 100.02 miles. The answer= 100.02 miles to burn off Thanksgiving dinner! I am just going to hope that I was off on my calorie count by 8,000 calories, which still leaves me a Post-Thanksgiving Marathon (which was my initial estimation.)

Being Thankful for Thanksgiving

The other day I overheard my seven year old daughter telling a friend that Thanksgiving is the worst holiday. I figured aside from her not liking poultry, maybe the reason was because Thanksgiving is not about receiving presents. Let's face it, most holidays starting with Valentine's Day and ending with Christmas have become so commercialized. Halloween is a day over and stores are out with Halloween costumes and Halloween candy and up with the Christmas decorations and Christmas lights. My five year old has been asking me since the first week of November how many days until Christmas? When I told him over fifty days and that we need to celebrate Thanksgiving first, he questioned why the stores had Christmas decorations up if Christmas was fifty days away and we still had to celebrate Thanksgiving?

Now I am asking myself the same question. When I was a kid, didn't the stores wait until after Thanksgiving to put up the Christmas decorations? I distinctly remember getting excited about Christmas when the advent calendar came out and I could count down the twenty-four days until Christmas. Now is the advent the whole month of November too? No, that can't be. That's just a part of America commercializing every holiday. Well this leaves me shocked, that to date, Thanksgiving has not become a gift giving holiday.

Now here's my goal: To make Thanksgiving a holiday my seven year old likes even if she won't eat the Turkey!

Interrupting Mom

Focus on My New York Times Bestseller. Focus. If I just write the book, I will make the list. Right? Write! I wish it were as simple as just writing, because now writing is my biggest obstacle, not being able to write that is. Every time I think I have a free moment, no, I have a "Mom" interruption. I love my children, but how can I write this bestseller if I am constantly on call?

My five year old stands right beside me as I try to work. I look at him and make him promise that he will not speak. He looks me in the eyes and says, "I promise. I just want to be near you mommy."

"Okay, you can lie on my bed."

My son lies down on my bed and I start typing... "Mommy, I won't talk I promise."

"But Sam, you are talking. No more talking."

"Okay mommy."

Once again, I start typing for no more than a minute "Mommy you love me, right."

"Shhhhhh..."

"Does that mean yes."

"Yes Sam, I love you. Now quiet."

"Type mommy, its okay."

I hold my breath as I start typing, because I am convinced that is how long I have before my son says something else. After about thirty seconds I exhale anticipating another interruption, but still nothing. So I continue typing, typing, typing, typing and as I look over at my son he is sleeping and I am typing, typing, typing, typing and just as I pick up speed my eleven year old is standing in my doorway asking if I can take her to get some ice cream.

I give up for today!

Honorable Mention to My Husband (second string to my man Tom Brady)

This can't go without Blog acknowledgement, I returned from a late afternoon meeting to find dinner on the table prepared by my husband! Way to go, hubby Sean! Maybe it is due to his new doctor who has his blood pressure down to 118/70 and his cholesterol down 50 points to 170? Way to go Doctor Greg Brown!

Multitasking Conundrum

I have been really preoccupied with writing my New York Times Bestseller lately. My story is complete and my thoughts are ready to be expressed from my brain into my computer. The negative is as a generally proficient multitasker, I am finding that writing and multitasking do not go hand and hand. How does one type at a computer while doing laundry and fixing dinner? It is the one setback I have found to pursuing my life as a writer while managing a family of six. Multitasking is absolutely necessary in maintaining the status quo within my home. I need to find a solution to my inability to multitask while typing. How am I going to get the story from my memory to my computer's memory without the fall of the Marchant Empire? I have a feeling some sleep sheep will be the "sacrificial lamb" to my conundrum.

Reserved for PASTER?????

Sometimes my children's reactions to something they think they understand can be quite humorous. Today when I was taking my seven year old to her first communion class, as we pulled into our church parking lot she pointed out Reverend Canon Diane Jardine Bruce's car (when writing about Diane, I always feel like I should address her properly.) Then as my daughter hopped out of the car she noticed the sign in front of Diane's car and read it out loud. She read, "Reserved for Paster." Then she questioned it as if horrified, "She's a PASTER? How strange is that?" I laughed and told her the sign said, "Pastor, not paster." And then my daughter breathed a sigh of relief before saying, "Oh, a Pastor."

A Mother Lode of Touchdowns from Tom Brady!

Way to go Tom Brady. The score New England 56, Buffalo 10. Five more passing touchdowns for my man Tom Brady. Thirty-Eight touchdowns in ten games. Twelve more and the record is yours. Keep the average up at 3.8 and you are in the record books with a total of sixty plus touchdowns. Eleven more than Peyton Manning's record. Tom Brady, I believe you are on your way!

Life's Tough Moments: The End of a Great Team

Life's tough moments at age eleven. Losing that critical soccer game. Tough moments as a parent. Watching my daughter walk off the soccer field with tears in her eyes after she gave her all. She played her heart out, but the conditions were tough. Up until today her team was undefeated in the playoffs. They had won with ease, 5-0 and 4-1, but today they were up against another undefeated team.

The two teams had met earlier in the season and tied 1-1, but today circumstances were different. One of the goalies on my daughter's team was away for Thanksgiving break. Two of the top forwards on her team were recovering from the flu and one had an injured foot, yet even with those strikes against them, the team went out and played hard.

Both teams were evenly matched. It was a defensive game. It seemed as if there was more time spent on throw-ins, than time on the field. And then, there was just one moment in the sixty minutes of play the other team had a five second break that ended with a goal. The goal that ended the Icenators season.

At the end of the game, I felt sadness for each of the girls as they walked off the field knowing the season ended here. This soccer season was about more than just a soccer team playing games on Saturday. New friendships were forged with the girls as well as the parents. The team really bonded. There weren't any little cliques like some of the past teams my daughter has played on. The girls really played well with each other on and off the field.

Today's tough lesson, all seasons eventually come to an end. This was that day for my daughter and her team, the Icenators. I saw her sadness as she came off the field. Even with the biggest hug from mom, her sadness did not dissipate. I know time heals sadness. Soon she will move on to her next sport, her next team, but today my eleven year old is not really dealing with the loss of a game as much as the end of a great team! My sincere thanks goes out to the coaches, parents and most importantly the Icenators for a great 2007 soccer season!

Two Weeks,14 Days, 336 Hours, 20160 Minutes

Some days I wish I had the house to myself to sit at my computer and type. As a writer with four children and a husband, I find it hard to escape long enough to write. Just when I find myself at my computer typing and my thoughts are flowing- INTERRUPTION! Mom, I need... Breakfast... A diaper change... A referee... A snack... A ride... I would say that is my greatest frustration as a writer. Space.

The other day I was telling a friend two weeks would be great. If I could just send my husband and kids away for two weeks, I would have my New York Times Bestseller. The entire story is in my head. Now its about having the time to transfer what is in my head to my computer. I am not saying two weeks would be enough to get it to print, but two weeks would be enough time to write the rough draft.

When I think of how productive I am during the hour or two my toddler naps and my children are at school, I know what I could do with two weeks, 14 Days, 336 Hours,20,160 Minutes. Compose my New York Times Bestseller!

The Clock is Ticking

I can hear the clock ticking on my motherhood freedom. Tick. One hour and thirty minutes. Tick. One hour. Tick. One half of an hour. Tick. My final minutes are winding down before my two daughters are home from school and off for Thanksgiving Break. Luckily for me, my five year old son has school until November 21. I am going to remain positive and remind myself that at least with the girls off I won't have to be up and out of the house by 7:15 a.m. for the next ten days! There is nothing pleasant about herding four non-morning children out of the house at that hour. I will hopefully be able to use that extra hour to my advantage to work on more of my N.Y.T. Bestseller. I am really in a groove right now. I am working with a great group of characters that seem to stimulate that part of my brain that allows me to write without too much pause. I can honestly say I have never felt writing to be as easy as it is now. Tick.Tick.Tick. My final seconds are winding down and I have to get into the "mom taxicab" for afternoon pick ups. Later!

My New York Times Bestseller Soundtrack

My New York Times Bestseller Soundtrack
Oh The Glorious- Brett Dennen
We Are Man and Wife-Michelle Featherstone
Breathe (2am)- Anna Nalick
World Spins Madly On-The Weepies
These Are The Days-Van Morrison
Sympathize -Amos Lee
Let’s Never Stop Falling in Love-Pink Martini
Cherry, Cherry-Neil Diamond
All I Need-Mat Kearney
Shelter from the Storm- Bob Dylan
Black and White-Three Dog Night
Everything’ll Be Alright (Will’s Lullaby)-Joshua Radin
Breakable-Ingrid Michaelson
If She Wants Me-Belle and Sebastian
One-U2
Digest-Ben Taylor


*If anyone is interested in acquiring one of the first three copies of this New York Times Bestseller Soundtrack, please send me an e-mail with your favorite song/songs on the list. If you don't know any, pretend! The first three responders will win!

Exercising Writer's Style

Just as I run to exercise my body, I have exercises for writing. I try to find new ways of understanding who my characters are. In the past I have written letters to and from my characters to understand their personalities, but today I found myself writing a eulogy for the main character in “My New York Times Bestseller.” I guess I was working from the angle of what type of life this person lived and I felt the best way to do this was to write a eulogy from the perspective of another character in the story. As I began this exercise, I found myself getting closer to the character emotionally and as I felt like I was getting closer, I felt myself wanting even more. In the end, not only did I write one Eulogy, I wrote three. Two from family members and one from a friend. This really gave me pause as to the depth of this character and her relationship to those around her.

*Note: I am actually considering posting the final copy of one of the eulogies. What do you think?

The Transition from Mother to Writer

Now that I am done driving my kids to school, folding laundry, putting away dishes, cleaning the house, playing with my toddler, its transition time. I need to go from mother to writer. I find I have my own rituals for this transition time. Every thing has to be "just right" in order for me to write. I have to set the mood in order to work on "My New York Times Bestseller."

First, I change into the most comfortable pants I own, which happen to be the "Fat Pants" that I wore all last year when I was in the process of losing the weight from baby number four. The pants are way too big now, and I actually have to roll the waist in order for them to stay on, but the pants are really comfortable and help me get into true writing form, relaxed and focused.

Then I throw on a jogging bra and a t-shirt, because often times I need to run on my treadmill for twenty to thirty minutes or even for short intervals to clear my brain of motherly thoughts I may be having. Its time to go from mommy Liza to writer Liza, which means I need to become the characters in "My New York Times Bestseller."

Finally before I can become the characters in my story, I must turn on some music. I already have the soundtrack put together for when my book becomes a movie. The songs are important for me to visualize my story, because each song was carefully picked by "moi" with thought and consideration to the storyline. When I hear the words of each song, I can see the big picture. Its really great.

Now I am running and writing into my imaginary world. I have made my transition from mother to writer!

A Morning Miracle: My Five Year Old Made My Bed

After one of my readers, Amy J., suggested creating a behavior/chore chart for my second grader, a miracle happened. This morning when I got out of the shower, my five year of was standing beside my bed and he proudly stated, "I made your bed mommy. I want a chore chart like Tessa's. Since I slept on your floor last night, I needed a bed to make, so I made yours. Do I get my own chart and a sticker for making a bed?" What a wonderful moment as a mother! I was so pleased, I took my son's picture and promised I would post it on my blog so everyone can see how well he made my bed! I complimented him, "Daddy can't even make the bed this neat!" He was so happy, he gave me a big hug and said, "I will make your bed everyday mommy!"

Inspiration for the Day "Do it Anyway"

The version found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

-This version is credited to Mother Teresa. They seem to be based on a composition originally by Kent Keith, but much of the second half has been re-written in a more spiritual way.

Moments of Temporary Insanity or what I call "Mad Menstrual Moments"

I am so relieved I have girlfriends who can call me on my moments of "temporary insanity" when my hormones have gotten the best of me. This past long weekend was incredibly crazy. In an attempt to get ahead of schedule, with a family of six that should have been the first sign of my mental ineptness. On Sunday I managed to burn crab chowder, Monday night's dinner. How had this happened? I somehow, in a dyslexic stove moment, managed to turn the burner to high instead of low. I then went off to get ready for church, only to hear my husband yelling at me about twenty to thirty minutes later that something was seriously burning in the kitchen.

Suddenly two hours of labor and Monday's dinner were in the garbage disposal and I was looking at a pan wondering how on earth the ingredients managed to look as if they were now a part of the blackened metal soup pot. I was pretty sure this pot was on its way to retirement in the landfill somewhere off the Ortega Highway. I am just glad that my children were not witness to my lack of discretion with the profanity that just seemed slip out my mouth as my husband was trying to tell me "Let it go."

Luckily my Sunday trip to church brought me back to sanity as I listened to a retired Marine talk about his role in World War II. There was a man who risked his life for our country, much more important, than losing a pot in what my friend has now termed "The Crab Chowder Kitchen Mishap." I left church feeling mentally stable, but somehow after reading too many articles on the fate of television due to the writer's strike, my menstrual hormones reeled me back into another bout of "temporary insanity."

My hormones got the best of me. What was I going to do? I had waited so long and patiently for the premiere of season four of "Lost." Now, I was only going to get eight episodes in 2008. How could this be? I suddenly found myself blogging about "writing for free." Another clear indication that I was yet again "Temporarily Insane." I had completely "Lost" it, pun intended! Who writes for free????

Then in an even crazier move, I posted the blog and sent it to people. Oh, God! Someone help me now! And she did. My mentor and fellow writer sent me e-mails, pointing out my insanity. (Just a quick note: When I finally finish my "New York Times Bestseller" I am going to call on this friend to be my manager, so I do not make any "faux pas" during interviews etc. I may even ask her to stand in for me) Was I looking to be permanently banned from the WGA?

In the first of three e-mails my friend wrote, "You could only send this out in the OC! I just had lunch with a writer who is on strike. They take the whole scab thing very seriously..." Then before I could respond I received another e-mail from her. "I did not realize how sensitive it is. They are raw and rightly so. The studios are making a tremendous amount of money and not paying the writers anything. Not really worth the laugh on your part (or even controversy) if fellow writers come across it, they will not think it is funny. We have to stand by our bros and sistas of the word!"

I, at that point, snapped out of my temporary insanity. My friend and fellow writer was right! What had I done? All I wanted was my show and in my madness I offered to be a scab and write for free. I was going against the very group of people I wanted to be in with... well, sort of, I want to write novels, but that is besides the point, I needed to support my fellow writers, not work against them.

I responded to her and my error. "It is lost, deleted..." Then in another e-mail, I confessed my "Mad Menstrual Moments" and that apparently I "LOST" it!

Her response, "LOL!"

And that's what I have to do... Laugh out loud, like the crazy person I was!

The Ants came Marching in and took away the Halloween Candy!

This morning as I was taking my five year old to school he asked if he had any Halloween candy left? Keep in mind, he hasn't seen the candy or asked about the candy since the day after Halloween, and for whatever reason he is now remembering that it existed.

I answered, "No, its gone."

And before I could say anything else, he exclaimed, "The ants must have come and taken it away. Ants like candy, right mom?"

Its amazing. I really must have drilled into his head that candy means a good old fashioned "California Ant Attack!" Growing up on the east coast, I remember an occasional black ant here or there, but never the masses of tiny brown ants that I have had the pleasure of greeting in Southern California. I was appalled the first time I saw an "ant attack." I was really freaked out at the lines of them marching through the outlets, across the floor and up the counter in my kitchen. I even found them in my laundry basket in the laundry room. I swear, they were ten thousand strong.

I then vowed I would make sure these attacks did not happen in my house anymore. I warned my kids to toss any birthday candy or Halloween candy. As my kids have been witness to some serious ant attacks and were not pleased, they have tried to live by the "no candy in the house rule or else, ant attack!"

Just recently a friend set me straight on that belief, "Its not really sugar or candy they want. Sure, when they arrive, they will find your sugar first, but its water they are after or in some cases they are not after anything. They just come in, but if your kids believe its sugar, more power to you!" And that's how I kept it as I responded to my son's question, "Ants love candy! Those darned ants! Marching in and taking your Halloween candy, what a shame!"

Headline: My toddler speaks for himself. "NO!"

As a mother of four, I have learned that it is inevitable all children learn to think and speak for themselves. I remember being anxious to hear my first child's words, but with my fourth, I was hoping he would wait to start talking when he was capable of making rational decisions. Unfortunately, that wish will not come true. He has mastered "No" and now uses it every chance he gets.

Once Again "The apple does not fall too far from the tree..."

On Sunday I was picking up a bottle of wine to bring to Sunday dinner at my friend's house and my oldest daughter was with me. She was standing in line behind me listening to her I-Pod. How typical of her, tuning the world out, or so I thought. The cashier looked at me and asked me if I was twenty-one?

My answer, "I have four kids, what do you think?"

And then before he could say anything, my daughter took her earphones out of her ears and looked at the cashier and said in a quite sarcastic tone, "Are you kidding me? If my mother wasn't twenty-one, she would have had me when she was nine."

The cashier looked thoroughly confused. By what I wasn't sure? Was he trying to do the math to figure out how old I was or how old my daughter was? I knew he couldn't figure out the latter by the information given to him, so he must have been confused by my eleven year old who looks like she is about fifteen.

As we left the store, I told my daughter, I was glad I still looked young enough to be asked if I was twenty-one or not. My daughter responded, "Don't let it go to your head mom. You look like you are forty." I am sure that was some payback for the time I told my mother she looked like she was "way over the hill" after someone commented how she looked young enough to be my sister when I was a senior in high school.

Once again I could hear my mother's words. "The apple does not fall too far from the tree. Payback." As we left the store not another word was spoken.

A Blog Thank You to the San Diego Chargers!

I'd like to give a shout out to the San Diego Chargers!!!!! I would like to personally thank you for playing your best on Sunday Night( I know it has been an off year with a new coach and all.) Thank you for beating the Indianapolis Colts! Any advantage to my team, The New England Patriots, is great! Now that Indy is 7-2, the Patriots have a little breathing room heading into the playoff rankings. I am not a San Diego Charger fan, coming from New England and all, but now that I live in Southern California, the Chargers definitely trump the Colts and any team that is a threat to the Patriots. Once again, my personal thanks goes out to the entire San Diego Charger team! Way to go!

A Writer's Perspective: A Company by Design

I am beginning to feel like I am managing my own company by design! From a writer's perspective, I managing the lives of my characters. I find myself having daily meetings with the characters as I try to get inside "their heads" as I develop their persona's. Whether I am driving in my car or sitting at my computer, I find myself having these conversations with characters. On occasion, I have these conversations out loud. If someone was watching me, I might be called "crazy." Schizophrenic. Who's that woman talking to at her computer? The answer: My company. My characters. Its all a part of the process of my "creation" otherwise known as "My New York Times Bestseller."

A Blog Happy Birthday to My Sister!

Happy Birthday! I love you Whitney! (Note: Whitney is the one in the middle)

Catch Up Day

Today seems like a good day to catch up. The kids have a day off from school. All of our regularly scheduled Monday activities are off with the exception of soccer practice at 7:00 p.m. I have an entire day at home (with my four children) to write, run, shower and if I feel so inclined cook and clean. I have already taken a firm stand with my kids. I have said "no" to playdates that require me to leave the house. I am going to be selfish. This is my day. Think positive. Stay positive. That's what my therapist would tell me if I had a therapist.

I know my children are listening to me when....

I know my children are listening to me when I overhear them repeating something I have said. Today my husband was lying on the couch and one of my older children forgot to shut the baby gate at the top of the stairs. My husband yelled out to them to "shut the gate."

"Sam, can get the gate," my seven year old yelled.

My oldest yelled, "Tessa was the last one to go down the stairs."

Then I heard Tessa yelling, "Sam, you shut the gate, its your turn!"

Then Sam replied, "Tessa, you worry about Tessa and I'll worry about Sam."

My husband laughed, "Kids are so funny. They come up with the funniest phrases." If only that were true. As I was standing in the kitchen, I thought to myself, hmmmm, I wonder where he heard that phrase?

It Would Be My Pleasure

My seven year old was beaming when I picked her up from school today. She was holding what looked like a white board and a book in plastic wrap. I was confused because she spent all of her money at the book fair the other day, so where did this book package come from? As she got in the car she explained that the book was her prize from the treasure box. She had a perfect day at school. She made it to "red" on her classroom behavior chart, which means "Really Remarkable Day."

I told her how pleased I was, because great classroom behavior is of the utmost importance in our family. I always feel like if I see the worst of my seven year old at home, that's better than her being that way at school. Of course it would be nice if her "Really Remarkable School Day" could continue into our home life, but again I would much rather have her be on the "red" away from home.

In order to have some insight into what behavior earns "a red mark," I decided to ask what she did. "Well," she explained, "I was helpful to other children on the playground and I said, it would be my pleasure to my teacher when she asked me to do something to help her."

Then I found myself repeating those words out loud, "It would be my pleasure." Funny how I never seem to hear those words when I ask my children to do something for me. Then I ask her "Why don't I ever hear you say it would be my pleasure to me?"

She answers as a matter of fact, "Because you don't have a behavior chart."

And my response, "So, you are saying if we had a behavior chart at home, you would be more inclined to say, it would be my pleasure, if I asked you to clean up your room?"

"Maybe. Maybe if you had a treasure box."

I knew it! There has to be some kind of reward! Some kind of pay off in the end. Funny how I don't seem to remember too many bonus and incentive programs from my childhood. I know my mother had an allowance chart for awhile, but that fizzled out over time and chores became "you have to do them because you are a part of this family and live in this house." Why can't my daughter just say to me "It would be my pleasure" because she wants to help me, her own mom! That would be my pleasure, just to hear her say those words once!

Silent Inspiration

This morning while I was driving my children to school my husband called me to tell me an "uplifting story." He asked me if I remembered the woman from Ladera Ranch who lost her three children in a tragic car accident. "Of course," I responded. "Who forgets such a tragic story close to home?" That story has weighed on my mind over the past six months. In fact, Lori Coble has been a source of "Silent Inspiration" for me. On the days where I feel like motherhood has gotten the best of me and I am at the end of my motherhood rope, I stop myself and think about Lori Coble. I stop and think that motherhood even on the hardest days is a blessing. There are people who lose motherhood in a instant. Lori Coble did. She lost her children because of a tractor truck driver. I think she would surely take all of the worst motherhood days back if it meant having her three precious children. She is my "Silent Inspiration" to never take motherhood for granted. She is a reminder that I need to love my children especially on the hardest days. Here's the good news. She is pregnant with triplets. Two girls and a boy. Obviously, you can never replace children, but she will have motherhood back. My prayers and blessings go out to her!

A Bunch of Imperfections

"Perfection itself is imperfection." Vladimir Horowitz

I have just had a little breakdown on my treadmill. I was starting to feel the endorphins from running (oh, how I’ve missed those during my hiatus from running) in conjunction with all these feelings of stress from this past year. In the recovery process of circumstances beyond my control, I have fought hard to stay sane and balanced. Then I was hit by all this emotion running. These feelings that no matter what I do , I feel like I am standing still, not going anywhere. Why can’t I feel like I am moving forward? I am doing so many positive things in my life. I am trying so hard. Then as I am running, I am thinking about the words of the Belle and Sebastian song “If She Wants Me,” “If I could do just one near perfect thing I’d be happy They’d write it on my grave, or when they scattered my ashes…” Is that what I am trying to do? One near perfect thing to write on my grave? And what is that one thing? Being a mother, being a wife, being a friend, being a runner, being a writer? Or do I want it all? Maybe that’s my problem? Focusing too much on perfection. Maybe I should focus on imperfection and see where that gets me? Anyway, that’s what I seem to be achieving, a bunch of imperfection. I’ll rewrite the song, “If I could do a bunch of imperfect things I’d be happy They’d write it on my grave, or when they scattered my ashes…”

Waiting for the Tooth fairy: A Seven Year Old's Sad Story

I know my daughter has spent too much time waiting for the Tooth fairy when she stops checking to see if the Tooth fairy even bothered to come. What is sad is the Tooth fairy finally came, thanks to the late night laundry fairy who saw the Tooth fairy box sticking out from underneath her pillow, and now she doesn't even know.

When I woke my daughter up for school this morning, she got out of bed and instead of checking under her pillow, she got dressed and went up stairs to eat breakfast. I didn't want to take away the thrill of discovery by reminding her to look under her pillow, but at this point, I am beginning to wonder if she will? I should have had a clue that she had given up from our recent conversation about where the Tooth Fairy was and why she hadn't bothered to show up?

"Mom, does the Tooth fairy take vacations?"

Distracted by an article I was reading in the paper, I looked up. "What?"

"Does the Tooth fairy take vacations?"

I looked at her a little confused, but then she smiled at me and I saw the big gap where her two front teeth used to be and I started to say, "Shhh.. ooot!" Oops! That giant gap in her smile reminded me of the tooth that fell out how many days ago? She has been waiting for the Tooth fairy for how many days? I tried to go back in my mind. It was after Halloween. Halloween was Wednesday. It was the day of my conference with her teacher. That was the first. November first. Its now November fourth. Three nights. I came up with my best viable excuse, "Halloween. Halloween is the Tooth Fairy's busiest time of year. All of that candy. Caramel, Skittles, gum.... teeth are popping out all over the world. The Tooth fairy is just backed up."

She's wasn't buying it. She shook her head, "Mom, everyone knows the Tooth fairy is magical. She can make it around the world in a night, just like Santa Claus."

"Then she must be on vacation?"

My daughter bowed her head, there may have been a tear or two, and then even I felt her pain. How had I let this happen? Why couldn't I remember something as simple as a lost tooth? And just when I thought I couldn't feel any worse, the words came out of her mouth, "Mommy, could you just pretend to be the Tooth fairy and leave me some money under my pillow. I was really hoping to go to the book fair at my school this week?"

How pathetic! My seven year old is asking me to "pretend" to be the Tooth fairy. How bad is that? If only she knew. Actually, I am surprised that with an older sister in middle school, she doesn't question more. In fact, now that I think of it, my middle school daughter has never even asked the question of whether the Tooth fairy is "real or not." I am going to believe that it is because she knows better.

Since I had failed miserably at making sure the Tooth fairy came in a timely fashion, I did what any good mother or should I say, guilty mother would have done. I told my daughter I would make sure she would have money for the book fair at her school. She was so relieved. Her face regained color. She perked up and went off to look at the book catalog with a marker in hand to circle books she wanted to buy and I felt some of my guilt dissipate.

Now, here we are on Tuesday, November 6. The Tooth fairy has finally made it after five nights, but my daughter doesn't seem to care to check. Now my question is: Does she care as much about the Tooth fairy coming now that she has money for the book fair? Who knows? I am however curious when she will discover her tooth is gone and money in its place? Now I am the one, waiting to see!

Back at "0"

What happened to the 1500 miles that I ran from January-September? Gone after October's sabbatical from exercise. Why? Why did I lose momentum? A friend told me, "Everyone needs a break." But a whole month? She reassured me that time off was good. "The body needs to recover and have a break. You had been exercising non-stop for nine months. At least you aren't at the starting point of the "Infamous Dana Point Turkey Trot Photo." She did have a great point. I was not at that "square 1," but merely mile "0." So, now I am facing my next attempt to motivate myself to get running. I know I tried to motivate myself a few weeks ago, but with the wildfires in Southern California and poor air quality, my week long attempt, became a "weak" attempt because I certainly couldn't force myself to breathe in all that ash! So, today I started at mile "0" and made it to mile "2.113." I am on my way baby!

The Final Score: Patriots 24, Colts 20!

While my predication of the final score was not accurate- the Patriots won! 9-0 baby! My man Tom Brady is now at 33 passing touchdowns with seven games to go! 16 away from tying Peyton Manning and 17 away from setting his own record! I would say he's well on his way to making history. Four Superbowl Rings and a Passing Touchdown Record! Tom's the man. Not to be confused with my blog "Boston Red Sox Tom!"

I had to stop the madness....

In order to stop the madness, the Halloween candy is gone, all thirty or so pounds of it! I had already eliminated the "dental nightmare candy" like Skittles, Starbursts, Gum, Caramel, Gummies, but had saved the chocolate. To avoid the California ant problem and for my husband's preference, I stuck the chocolate in the freezer. Then two nights ago, I was watching some television and I am sure some subliminal message in a commercial told me to go for the "Midnight Milky Way Bars." Before I knew it, I had a pile of those mini-cellophane wrappers in my lap and I was feeling the after effects of having too much sugar. I felt like crap. Anyway, I vowed that there would be no more trips to the freezer, but then last night after eating healthy all day, my body was craving sugar and once again the freezer beckoned me to take some "Mini-Snickers Bars." So today, I had no choice, I took action. There will be no more trips to the freezer. The chocolate is gone. I put a stop to any future madness!

My Prediction: The winner is the New England Patriots!

The Colts are supposedly loving all of this attention over "how great the Patriots are" and they are waiting to surprise everyone and "beat the Patriots because they were the Superbowl Champions." My opinion, "were" is the operative word. The Colts "were" Superbowl Champions. What always makes me frustrated is that all the so-called football experts (with the exception of a few) call "Peyton Manning" the greatest quarterback in NFL History, but who is the one with three Superbowl rings and is well on his way to beating the "Passing Touchdown Record?" The answer: The one and only Tom "McDreamy" Brady. Peyton has one ring and one record, but has consistently shown he can lose "it" to the best, Tom Brady. This season the Patriots' numbers show. Eight wins. Zero losses. Points for: 331 and points against: 127. Leaving a net of 204. The Colts' numbers. Seven wins. Zero losses. (Note one less game) Points for: 224 and points against: 102. Leaving a net of 122. Let's face it, no matter what people say, the Colts' schedule has not been that tough and we are looking at a new "Patriot offense" and a consistently great and versatile defense. The Patriots are coming out on top. Patriots 49, Colts 33.

A Blog Thank You!

As if being my personal shopping advisor was not enough, my friend Cindy has once again gone way beyond the friendship call of duty! I was prepared to wear my probably out of fashion shirt to the baptism tomorrow, when I received a phone call from Cindy saying she had been at the early bird shopping sale at "Kohl's" and found some suitable church shirts for me and when could I come over to try them on? I immediately started thinking about the day's schedule. When could I meet her at Kohl's? Possibly between soccer games or maybe after dinner, and then she stopped me, "Wait, I already bought the shirts. You just need to come to my house or I to yours."

Were mine ears deceiving me or did she just say she bought all the shirts? Wow, it was true. The shirts were in her home and the least I could do to hold up my end of our friendship was to make the trip to her house. I quickly said one of those prayers I often find myself saying when I need to have some kind of good karma. "And please God, may at least one of those shirts she bought fit right and not make me look too busty or like a linebacker or that I have sausages for arms or something like that. After all my friend did wake up early and go shopping for me and at this point I would like to think her efforts weren't for not."

I was at her house within the hour trying on the shirts, the skirt and the dress she picked out. She then informed me that whatever fit I was going to keep as "everything was such a bargain." God answered my prayers, because not only did one shirt look good, two others did as well, as did the skirt and I got to try them all on in the comfort of a home. What a luxury. As I was leaving her house, I actually turned around and went back in to tell her, "That was the best shopping experience of my life, not only did I not have to think about what to buy, I loved not being in a tiny cubicle looking in a mirror that makes me look less than desirable and that I knew who I would be bringing to Chicago when I have my "Oprah Interview" about my New York Times Bestseller." Here's a blog thank you to my friend Cindy!

Who loses pants?

Okay, my husband recently bought a pair of pants and now the pants are gone. I will admit that in the past I have done my husband a favor by elimninating expired fashions from past decades, but the new khaki pants he bought recently, I actually liked. He went on a business trip and swears he checked the hotel before he left, but those pants are gone, not to be found anywhere in our house or in our mountain of laundry! Who loses pants? My husband!!!!! (And no ladies, I can say with confidence he does not have a girlfriend!)

The Bounds of Friendship and Shopping Truths

Only a true friend would volunteer to help me pick out "proper church clothes" for my children's baptism or a friend who has seen my "church wardrobe" (which is nonexistent.) I received an e-mail invite earlier in the week. The message started off subtle and ended with the obvious (I don't have church clothes in my wardrobe.) "By the way, do you have something to wear to the baptism event of the year? If not I am taking you shopping for something "suitably churchy." Maybe Thursday after hours or Friday when all the kids are off and driving us crazy. Let me know."

When I called to arrange the date, my friend talked about how hard it was for her, finding clothes being petite, and that I must have the same problem. That old light bulb flashed on, that's my problem! I am shopping in the wrong department. Although I am not sure The Gap and Old Navy have departments? I always seem to forget that I fall into that category of being vertically challenged at 5'3". I never shop in petites and that is probably why I always end up tripping in pants that are too long. Besides with four children, who has time for alterations and department shopping?

Shopping with children is stressful. I pretty much gave up shopping for myself by child number three. I can't even remember the last time I bought clothes for myself (other than at Target?) If the fashion police came to my house they would probably be able to tell me, 2001 or 2002. But now, I had the opportunity to go shopping without my children and with a fashion advisor.

Thursday evening it was! A miracle. No kids, shopping! Before I knew it, I had piles of clothes in my arms. How she did it, amazed me. She was going through the racks of clothes pulling out skirts, shirts and trousers. Without her help, I would probably still be standing there trying to figure which ones to try on. She knew. Macy's petite section, 70% off sale. As she handed me another shirt she informed me, "If this fits you, you are buying it! If only because it will cost you about $5 after the sale price, which you can't even do at Target.

When I had about thirty items in my arms, we moved on to the dressing room. I commented on how spacious the little cubicle seemed without four children and a stroller. I wouldn't have to stand on the bench to try on clothes. My friend then offered to pretend to be one of my children, so I wouldn't feel like I was in some alternate universe. I told her I would let her know if I felt the need to hear some complaining or have some resistance to staying in the dressing room.

Overwhelmed, I was not sure what to try on first. What shirt with what bottom? As I was hanging the clothes on the hooks, I grabbed a pair black of pants. I figured it would make trying on all of the shirts easy. What does not go with black? Very little. Immediately I could see the benefits of shopping in the petite section. There would be no tripping on these pants. The length was perfect. I then said a silent prayer for my friend.

"Thank you God, not only giving me a such a great friend, but one that can help me in my time of shopping need. Never in my thirty plus years have I had a friend who picked clothes out for me and then could say as I stepped out of the dressing room in a scooped neck shirt, "The pants are great, but the shirt makes your shoulders look wider than those of a linebacker in the NFL. Besides, I think you can fit Jack's sippy cup in that scoopy neck thing that is going on." Later it would be "no ruffles and no horizontal lines or anything that makes the buttons on the shirt look like the are going to bust open, no pun intended."

Finding a shirt proved to be harder than we thought. I did buy the bargain shirt, but it was a bit bright for a baptism. I left with great pants and some borrowed shoes to boot, literally and figuratively. After two hours of shopping it was clear to me why I never do this with my children. Luckily, I have two more days before the Baptism, enough time to find a shirt. I hope. If not, because the pants are black, I definitely have a shirt from a few fashion years ago that will work in a pinch, especially at my church, St. Clement's, where "there shall be no outcasts" and I assume that pertains to "fashion faux pas."