I have considered all of the possibilities... I don't like 5k's. The race is too short and too fast for me. I am in it for the long haul. I have found my race. The marathon. Just as I have concluded with my writing, I am not meant to be a essayist, but a novelist. I have also concluded, I like creative freedom, to write what I want, when I want. Give me a topic and I shut down. I become ambivalent. I want to protest. I love creative control. Heck, I'll get write, I mean right down to it... I am a control freak. But lately it seems that I have settled as a finisher.... not a loser, not a winner, but a finisher. I have finished the tasks I have set out to do, but not won the race or contest. Now its my time. I have decided as of today, I will not be a settler. I will not just settle as a "finisher," but will strive to be the winner that I know I can be. I know what I must do. I need to push myself beyond my own self imposed limitations in order to finish my big race. I now know this, I can make 26.2 miles just as I can write 400 pages....that my fictional life is much more exciting than my Mother Lode on motherhood..... so now I am off on my own course, my path to victory!
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