On Carpet in Bathrooms....

Whoever decided to put carpet in all three bathrooms in my house did not have children! Once again I was reminded of why I DETEST carpet in bathrooms... Last night, my son, after ingesting bubble bath jumped out of the tub, gagging and vomited right in front of my sink all over the carpet. Remnants of his day's meals were spewed everywhere and there I was trying to get four kids to bed and I had to clean up carpet vomit. (where was my husband during all of this- of course he had a meeting, he's never around for these moments) An explosion of expletives were going off in my head directed at the person who said, "Yes, carpet in all three bathrooms. You know, the kind that traps all the missed pee from the toilet and holds chunks of vomit because it is a little shaggy. You know that kind." Now I have a lovely stain in front of my sink to remind me of why carpet is not meant for bathrooms. When my husband came home and I showed him the spot, he so kindly pointed out (as my son threw-up in front of my sink) that children always run to their mothers even if it is in spirit! He better watch what he says, because he maybe the one ripping out the carpet when I really lose it!

Write the right stuff, please!

The other day my husband told me not to write about him. My “New York Times Bestseller” could not be about him. I replied, “Its not about you. If anything it is about me, and if you happen to be about me, then well, there you have it. When you met me, I told you I was a writer. As I writer, I tend to pull from experience. Next time, don’t marry a writer.” And that was that. Then, he asked, “Are you going to have a pen name?” My response, “Good question?”

Love the Advertising!

I can't go without acknowledging this. The advertising on my blog is great. I mention diapers in my blog, suddenly diaper adds appear. So they missed the mark on children's diapers and advertise adult diapers, but hey, I have older friends. Then there is my mention of how my children destroy tents. Poof, tent companies are advertising on my blog. Great! Just what I need! A reminder to buy a new tent. The good thing is that I am not supposed to click on the advertisements on my own blog, so there is no pressure for me to try a fourth tent in my house.

Picture This

After reading my blog on "Picture Days", my friend was in shock that I was not ordering any pictures of my Kindergartener? When she asked why, I explained it was out of my budget. She asked if I was serious? Over at Starbucks, I explained my current financial situation, and she proceeded to say, she wouldn't be able to live with herself knowing I couldn't get the milestone Kindergarten picture. Before I knew it, I had $40 in my hand, and I was heading back to school to make sure photos were taken. Of course my son's hair was way past a haircut and sticking up and the collar of his shirt was wet from him chewing on it, but hey that's what is all about isn't it? Remembering the days when I couldn't afford the haircut and he sucked on the collars of his shirts. 2007, Age 5, right?

May I spell that for you....

When ordering at Starbucks I spell it out, that's Liza, L-I-Z-A. On occasion I get the, "I can spell Liza look." How hard is Liza, really. It is all phonetic, right? You would be surprised at the variations I have learned from my Starbucks coffee drinking days. Here's the list: Lisa, Laisa, Laysa, Lieza, Leeza, Eliza, Leisa, Leiza, Lysa and today, a first-FLIZA. Fliza your grande latte is ready... Is that even a name? I did a search on 20,000 names and there is not a one FLIZA. I did get a link to search for Fliza, but nothing came up. So there you have it. May I spell that for you....

*Just a note- When I did spellcheck, can you guess which words were highlighted?

Petitions for Cats

Last Sunday my seven year old was filling out prayer cards for Cats "with child" at church asking for "forgiveness." I am positive she had know idea what she was filling out. I had to try my best to keep a straight face during communion as I was watching her do this. Anyway, all was forgotten, until this morning, when I found a cat standing outside the window of her bedroom (which happens to be a fenced in yard). Had the cat heard of her prayer request?

I thought it would be great to get a picture of the cat standing at the window for my blog, but when I came back with the camera, the cat saw me and leaped onto the fence and into our neighbor's yard. I wonder if the cat sensed my true feelings? I am not a pet person. And if I were a pet person I would probably choose a dog over a cat. I am not sure if it has anything to do with the fact that cats like to leave dead rodents on doorsteps (although I suppose if you live in Laguna Beach that is a good thing) or that they creep me out by the way they seem to appear out of nowhere. Or was it that the cats my family had used my beanbag chair as a litter box and were constantly puking up hairballs and grass? Who knows? I just don't like cats. So I guess that makes my own daughter asking forgiveness for cats even funnier. Hopefully, this does not mean she wants a cat? I better say a prayer for that.

Negotiating the Budget

I am already negotiating the budget with myself. That loaf of bread I was going to bake... is it worth the time and effort in my busy life? Well, in order to come to a rational decision, I had to put it in perspective. A loaf of bread costs $2-$4. I have all the ingredients to make a recipe that yields two loaves. That would save my budget a hit of anywhere from $4-$8. Now here's the other scenario I have to consider, my supply of now 35 diapers is depleted, do I have the ingredients to whip up a batch of diapers? The answer is: NO! Knead I say more?