Four children in a pew?

Why does it always seem like my children are the unruly children in church? My seven year old is thirsty, my eleven year old is playing with her cell phone, my five year old is trying to climb over me to sit next to his sister and my eighteen month old, well, he's eighteen months and since he started walking his curiosity gets the best of him. I always choose the back of the church as to not disturb the entire congregation, but with four children in a pew it is kind of hard to go completely unnoticed. The problem with sitting in the back is that the kids see the exit.

I really try to come to church to find solace from my otherwise hectic life, but when I am at church trying to keep the kids still, I feel stress. There are moments when I really envy the parents with only one child, because I know when I am one on one with one of my four children life is great. Suddenly there is no competition for my attention, and my children become angelic, but not in a group of four, anything is possible.

My eighteen month old has pooped and needs to be changed A.S.A.P. or the entire congregation may need to be evacuated for what smells like toxic fumes. So, my husband gets up to change his diaper. As soon as my husband is gone, my five year old looks up and notices. He now has to go to the bathroom. I try to get up quietly and exit with him. While in the bathroom, I decide I may as well go, as my morning coffee has gone right through me. Before I can finish, I hear my son leave the bathroom. I am buttoning my pants and exiting the bathroom looking for him. Where has he gone?

As I am searching the church halls for him, I run into my husband with our toddler. Great. Still no Sam. Then from around the corner he appears with my seven year old. Can't we just make it through the service without having everyone leave the pew? As I am walking back to the service, my seven year old tells me she needs to stay outside, because the usher told her she could not come back? And I tell her we are going back. Big mistake!

My toddler wants his milk cup and I hand it to him, he takes a sip and throws it. He wants to get down and when I don't put him down, he starts fussing. My eleven year old offers to take him out. As I hand him to her and she gets up I see the usher shake his head in disapproval. Then my five year old wants to know where she is going and tries to climb over me to make his exit. My husband follows him and now I am left in the pew with my seven year old. How many times have we exited the church? I have lost count.

During the "Lord's Prayer" I start to feel tears well up in my eyes. And my daughter asks why I am crying? I just shake my head and wipe my tears with my sleeve. I wonder if I should even bother taking communion, but I muster up enough strength to walk up with my daughter, because I know it is the right thing to do.

During the recessional hymn, my seven year old sneaks out of the church. At this point, I decide I am going to wait until everyone exits the church before I join my husband and children outside. I need a moment of peace before I have to face them again. I know I can not think about others judging me, but I feel like they are. As I watched people exit the church, I had a few stares but I told myself no one else had to sit in a pew with four children. What would have happened if there had been four children in every pew? Would my children have been the only ones wanting water and needing to go to the bathroom? Most likely not. So, I came to the conclusion, you can never judge another person until you have sat in a pew with four children!